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If you’re new here, you’ll learn quickly that I try my best to keep my life very medium maintenance, especially when it comes to my hair. Aside from the financial cost of consistently bleaching my hair blonde, time itself has value.
I realized I was medium maintenance sometime in my early 30s. I don’t think I was ever particularly high maintenance, but I noticed how many things I used to do regularly that I started abbreviating or skipping altogether. A lot of people probably assume I’m high maintenance because I’ve stayed blonde for so long. Honestly, I don’t care.
I don’t feel high maintenance when it comes to my hair because I haven’t burned out from it. Being medium maintenance isn’t about doing the absolute minimum. It’s about deciding what is worth the effort and what isn’t.
I spend a surprising amount of time on some aspects of my hair. I spend almost none on others. The difference is whether that effort actually gets me closer to my end goal.
The Blonde Asian Math
You know how you’ll spend an hour filling an online shopping cart and then question the $7.99 shipping? Blonde Asian Math is sort of like that.
If something takes five minutes and has a major impact on my hair, I’ll probably do it.
If something takes thirty minutes and produces a minor improvement, I’m probably not interested.
Spraying heat protectant takes seconds and helps prevent damage.
Finding a hairdresser took months of patience.
Testing hair ties took months.
Using my favorite hair tie takes seconds.
To me, that’s the difference. I don’t mind the effort. I mind effort that doesn’t lead anywhere.
Where I Spend Time
Choosing a Stylist
Not all hairdressers are comfortable lifting Asian hair to blonde.
I had the majority of the pandemic to find my current hairdresser. I didn’t think it would take that long. I asked people for recommendations and when I reached out, either they weren’t taking new clients, their social media didn’t reflect hair like mine going blonde, or they simply weren’t comfortable working with my hair.
Through six degrees of separation, I eventually found my hairdresser.
Even though I understand that hair grows back, I wasn’t willing to take a gamble. I was Goldilocks about it and took the time to find the right fit.
Finding a hairdresser that was “good enough” wasn’t enough because I’ve become very aware of what it takes to maintain blonde hair, especially on dark Asian hair. If I was going to spend the money and time, I wanted to feel confident in the result. Looking back at it, I did exercise quite a bit of patience because I really just wanted to have my hair situation addressed after all the time that passed.
Blonding Appointments
When I go to the salon, I’m in the chair for at least three hours at this point in my blonde hair journey.
I also need to go consistently. I have this fear that I’m going to let it go for too long and end up needing a color correction. I really don’t want to go through another one.
If being consistent and patient keeps my hair in a favorable position, I’m going to do it.
Three hours is a significant amount of time to spend in a salon chair, but I’ve learned that’s the amount of time that gets my hair where I like it best. Bleaching hair isn’t a race.
I don’t consider it high maintenance because those three hours only happen every few months. Compared to my scalp bleaching phase, where I was in the salon every five or six weeks, this feels downright reasonable.
Finding Products That Actually Work
BlondeAsian.com is living proof that I take the time to find products that work for me.
Managing hair damage from bleaching requires products. I’ve spent the last decade figuring out what works and what doesn’t. More recently, I’ve spent months testing hair ties because I wanted to solve my ponytail problem once and for all.
When I find something that works, it buys me peace of mind. I don’t have to keep solving the same problem over and over again. The upfront effort is worth it because I’m the kind of person who likes to solve problems completely.
When my hair feels really thirsty, especially after a blonding appointment, I like to use Kevin Murphy’s REPAIR.ME for a few washes. It’s just the right amount of hydration for my hair.
In between washes, K18’s AirWash has been a gift from the hair gods. I never particularly cared for dry shampoos. I tried this one on a whim because I had a coupon and I was reordering their shampoo.
These products make it into my hair routine because they solved a problem and reduced the amount of time I spent thinking about what to do with my hair.
Once I know something works, I can move on.
Where I Refuse to Spend Time
Just because I’m medium maintenance doesn’t mean I’m low maintenance.
Society sometimes acts like if you aren’t high maintenance, you must be low maintenance. I don’t think that’s true. I spend plenty of time on my hair. I’m just selective about where that time goes.
Daily Curling
This could really be as broad as daily styling.
I know not all hair types can sustain this, but with the mop that I have, I don’t currently need to do much for it to be presentable.
I don’t curl my hair daily because I simply don’t want to anymore. I also kind of like saving that ace in the hole.
Twenty minutes doesn’t sound like a lot until it becomes twenty minutes every single morning. At this point in my life, I don’t need to do it anymore.
Chasing Miracle Products
The longer I’ve been blonde, the easier miracle products have become to spot.
If something claims to do something that sounds scientifically impossible, I’m immediately skeptical. If it gives strong “As Seen on TV” energy, I’m probably not interested.
I’ve learned to ignore products that promise the moon because most of them require constant usage to maintain the illusion that they’re working.
Products That Create More Work
Even though I proudly say my hair is my favorite part of me, I don’t want my life schedule dictated by my hair.
During the pandemic, I entertained myself with the Olaplex bond repair system. I had to use the entire kit weekly. My hair would soak up certain products faster than others, which meant I’d run out of one step long before the rest.
Reordering became annoying. Managing the routine became annoying. Eventually I realized I was spending more time maintaining the system than enjoying the result.
That’s usually where I draw the line. I don’t mind the effort. I mind unnecessary effort.
Conclusion
As I get older, I am less interested in spending time doing things that don’t matter to me.
The reality is that I’ve spent years figuring out where my effort matters and where it doesn’t.
I’ll happily spend three hours in a salon chair every few months. I’ll spend months finding the right stylist. I’ll spend months testing products if it means I can stop thinking about that problem later.
What I won’t do is spend thirty minutes every morning doing something that doesn’t meaningfully improve my life.
Long story short, I choose to maintain the things that actually get me to my end goal. I choose to ignore the things that don’t.
I’m not avoiding effort.
I’m auditing it.
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