I was working a gig with one of my dear friends. She’s the one who brought me onto the project in the first place, so she offered to house me for the week and drive me to and from the work site. It felt like a week-long girl party ‘98. Comfortable, familiar, low stakes.
I shower at night and style my hair in the morning. It’s just a preference. My friend noticed this and asked about it, and I found myself explaining that showering at night is simply less annoying to me than waking up earlier to do it. I’m fortunate to have hair that cooperates, so if I want fifteen more minutes of sleep, I can take them. If I feel like curling my hair in the morning, that’s fine too.
While I was explaining this, I realized what I was actually describing. It’s not that I don’t care what I look like. I care. I just don’t want to put in more effort than I’m willing to. I want to look presentable, but on my terms. That’s when I named it: Medium Maintenance.
She loved it immediately and started calling herself medium maintenance too. I actually think she’s far more responsible than I am, but that’s the point. Medium maintenance is a gray area. It’s flexible. It’s personal. It doesn’t need strict rules to work.
The Space Between High Maintenance and Low Maintenance
Social media makes it feel like there’s no middle ground anymore. You’re either watching someone wake up with flawless makeup and a perfectly curated routine, or someone performing low-effort chaos as a personality. There’s very little room for nuance.
High maintenance is often framed as the goal. The only way to care about yourself properly. At the same time, it’s mocked and resented. Low maintenance gets labeled as lazy, careless, or gross and criticized just as harshly. Both ends are judged constantly.
Medium maintenance lives in the space between those extremes. It’s caring without performing. It’s effort without obsession. It’s choosing what matters and letting the rest go.
To me, medium maintenance represents pride, self-care, and comfort without spectacle. I think a lot of people already live this way. They just don’t have language for it yet.
What Medium Maintenance Looks Like in Real Life
In my day-to-day life, medium maintenance starts with deciding what I care about before I leave the house. For me, that’s simple. I don’t want my hair to be a mess, and I want my smile to do most of the work. That’s where I put my energy. Everything else is optional.
Clothes have been a bit of a sore subject lately. I’ve lost weight, I’m no longer thirty-three, and my wardrobe doesn’t reflect who I am now. I technically fit into most of my old clothes again, but it’s giving Forever 21. I’ve evolved. I’m slowly rebuilding my wardrobe to match that.
Right now, I don’t plan outfits. I default to jeans or black leggings and a neutral top, or a sweatshirt I’ve deemed acceptable for public viewing. It’s not flashy, but it’s honest.
My home is what I’d call beautiful chaos. You can tell someone lives here. I try to hit one non-negotiable chore a day. Laundry, dishes, vacuuming. Everything else gets handled through my Do 5 method. If the place needs to be presentable for other humans, my boyfriend helps and we marathon it together.
I do what I think a genuinely nice lady would do, even when no one is watching.
Time Is the Real Currency
I really learned the value of my time and energy during the pandemic. At first, the lockdown felt like a gift. I thought I’d finally catch up on everything I’d been putting off. I even taught myself how to sew a dress.
Then the lockdown kept going. Motivation dipped. Structure disappeared. At one point I was taking my birth control just to know what day it was, and I still managed to mess that up. I realized how much I’d taken regular life for granted.
Somewhere in there, I stopped taking myself so seriously. If I wanted to do something, I did it. I prioritized how I felt over how things looked from the outside. That mindset stuck.
Medium maintenance became less about appearance and more about energy. About choosing what was worth my time.
Medium Maintenance and the Social Battery
Once I started prioritizing what actually made me feel good, I got clearer about who I am. I trusted my gut more. I stopped outsourcing my decisions to other people’s opinions.
I always thought of myself as an extrovert. Living this way showed me I have strong introvert tendencies too. I recharge at home, not on sticky dance floors. Saying no became acceptable. I didn’t have to do everything all the time.
Medium maintenance might sound like a beauty or fashion label, but it’s really a lifestyle approach. It’s a way of moving through life without constantly overriding yourself.
What Medium Maintenance Is Not
Medium maintenance isn’t an excuse. It’s not about giving up or lowering standards. It’s an intentional approach that leads to an outcome you’re genuinely comfortable with.
It’s choosing effort on purpose, not avoiding it altogether.
Choosing Medium on Purpose
Being medium maintenance is a choice, not a compromise. It’s the result of trial and error, of learning what matters and what doesn’t, and being honest about both.
I think a lot of people are trying to find this lane, but it isn’t clearly marked yet. I know it’s sustainable because I’ve been living this way for over a decade. And in that time, a lot of happiness has found me.
Not because I optimized my life.
Because I stopped fighting it.
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